My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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