If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
