Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
50% drunk capacity currently
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
