I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
