We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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