is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
