i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Randomize
