So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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