do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
You were trust falling into bushes
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
