I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
