if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Damn victory sex feels great
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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