Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
