I think I just saw someone hide a body.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
