Quick, to the slutcave!
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Someone shattered a urinal.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
