there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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