The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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