Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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