just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
