I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize
