no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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