everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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