I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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