So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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