Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
