I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
