I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
