My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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