if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize