pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I'm just crazy horny about you
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
