a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
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