If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
