This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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