The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
