my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
