my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
