hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
