I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
