I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
