do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Just pee around me
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
