how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
