Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
