Dual....:-)
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
