So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
