okay pat passed out under dana's car
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
