i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Randomize
