Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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