I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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