is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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