so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize