You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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