oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
