Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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