Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
