The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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