At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
