I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
